Theory 59... The Procrastination Theory

So today’s a big day for me. I’M FREE. Yesterday was my last class… and I’m now 100% done with my MBA. It’s been a crazy two years… pretty much without a break. True… I did have 3 weeks off last summer… and about 3 weeks off around Christmas time… but for the last 2 years there’s always been some sort of simulation, spreadsheet, or project hanging over my head. Just 24 hours ago I was rushing to finish off one last paper… but I turned it in... and now I’m done… it’s a bit surreal. All that’s left is for BYU to print off a masters degree… and charge me some exorbitant price for graduation announcements and a cap-n-gown. I walk with the Marriott school graduates in August… and I’ve already got a theory about graduation all lined up! Funny thing is… I’m really going to miss school… sort of a “don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” situation. What am I going to miss? Well it may not make sense to most of you… but here it is in a nutshell…

No more funky brainstorming sessions with Brett and Spencer… no more teasing Mahlon about his G.A. dad… no more late night Dutsonization… no more 4 hour Operations final exams… no more KFC runs during the break with Chris, Mike, and John. No more celebrating birthdays with Reggie… no more smart cracks from Scott Haymore…no more lame Stice Brother jokes… no more killing off William Shatner... no more Dr. Swain analogies about “spreading the peanut butter”… no more LOVE GROUP dinners with the triple-combo of Whitlark, Swenson & Rhoads – the best marketing professors on the planet (even if I did bomb that mousetrap final)... and the list goes on!

Really there’s a lot to miss… I’ve made some great friends and it’s been an unforgettable (and challenging) journey or sorts. Of course… now that I’m finished with school… there’s plenty of work to be done. I’ve been thinking about books to read or projects I can work on now that I have about 10+ additional hours of free time each week (please don’t let my bishop know). Of course there are some pressing needs… this coming week I plan on using my free time to play with my kidsters and rescue the back lawn from the jaws of a scorching summer.


I know what you’re thinking… couldn’t I have been watering my lawn even if I was in school? The answer is YES… I have been watering my lawn… but I haven’t been giving it the TLC it needs… it’s been too easy to use “I have school tonight” as an excuse. It's not just with the lawn either… there’s probably about a dozen things in my life that I’ve procrastinated... and justified it in my own mind (or to my wife) as not having enough time (or being bad timing) because “I’m in school.”

So here’s my problem (and my theory)... Procrastination turns into dereliction when you run out of excuses… and I just ran out of an awfully big one!

Theory 58... The Expectations and Ice Cream Theory

Wow… has it been a whole month? So I haven’t blogged in the past few weeks… but the theories have been stacking up and it’s time I get rolling again… I’ve probably got 50 theories that I haven’t posted yet… so hopefully I can up the frequency for all 7 of my readers out there!

I started to slack while Laura and I were in Asia. We were gone for 2 ½ weeks and had a wonderful time. I’ve posted a few pictures online. You can see them by visiting http://picasaweb.google.com/brad.ball76

So the other day I was eating some ice cream and I got thinking about EXPECTATIONS. You see, as a kid ice cream was our favorite family treat... the official Ball family dessert. Usually about 30 minutes before bed, Dad would pull out the Western Family generic brand ice cream and serve us each a half-cup. Melanie (my sister) and I would always use our spoon to stir our cup of ice cream until it turned into a sugary medicine-like texture… then we would prolong our bedtime by slowly savoring every last bite. Oh what fond childhood nostalgia! That is… except for the Western Family ice cream... I can’t exactly pin down a date… but sometime in the early 1990’s my palette outgrew generic ice cream… and once you get accustomed to the fancier stuff… there’s no going back. Ice cream today is all about Breyer’s and Dreyer’s… or maybe Ben & Jerry’s if I feel like splurging. Come to think of it… I’d only purchase generic ice cream for the kids… the NEIGHBOR kids.


And therein lies the problem with life… how do you lower expectations and roll back your life style… it’s tough to do! I often wonder how we ever lived without cell phones… Really… how did we coordinate meeting times on road trips… I guess it went something like “Lets meet at the Hanksville Chevron sometime after 3pm”. Somehow the world made it through centuries without that pesky Verizon guy… but I sure wouldn’t want to give up my phone anytime soon.


Speaking of road trips… next week we’re going on the big family trip to Newport Beach… it’s usually the highlight of the summer… but I’ve been having a tough time getting excited for it this year… Newport Beach just isn’t as sexy after having just returned from Asia… and that’s sad… I miss the anticipation. Reminds me a little bit of a quote from Charlie Bucket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… “those golden tickets make this chocolate taste terrible” No Kidding!


Of course sometimes warped expectations car work in your favor… for instance…those of you expecting multiple blog posts from me every week… you’ve now been tamed and I can pleasantly surprise you by kicking out a few theories in succession after having been absent for a month.

But my theory… expectations are like ice cream… once you’ve tasted the sweet stuff… it’s awfully tough to go back to the ordinary… even if the ordinary isn’t that bad to begin with… I think I’ll go out and buy me some generic ice cream this week and try to restart the whole cycle.

Theory 57... The Big Brother Theory

When does being a big brother really suck? When you spend too much time watching all your younger syblings! As the oldest of 5 I can tell you there are some big advantages and disadvantages to being the big brother.

Of course the real question might be how is it to be the LITTLE BROTHER. I write you this blog from Beijing, China... where I am very much the little brother right now. The CHINESE GOVERNMENT is seriously limiting my access to the Internet. I have no access to most media web sites... and worst of all.... I can't read my own blog! I have no trouble posting material... but you will read this online before I will get a chance... very weird!

So what am I doing in China? Laura and I are on a foreign business excursion with a group of 30 students from my BYU Executive MBA program. It's our last big hurrah before we graduate... and we've been looking forward to this big trip for a while. So far we've been to Kyoto, Japan, Tokyo, Japan... right now we're in China (we'll see the Great Wall tomorrow) then we head down to Hong Kong in a few days and finally we end up in (my favorite) Bangkok, Thailand. If you'd like to check out our adventures... here's a seperate blog that I've set up:

http://emba2008asia.blogspot.com

Theory 56... The Star Wars Theory

He's 18 months old... He's been walking for months... He loves to climb and explore... He's starting to talk... and he's been massively indoctrinated with Disney princesses by his older sister. It was time to take action! So this past week I introduced my son David to the world of Star Wars!

Now don't get me wrong... I'm not some Star Wars nut case... I don't speak Ewok, I don't know the population Alderaan, and I certainly don't think Carrie Fisher is the hottest babe ever. But my theory is... the little fella should at least know about Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and Darth Vader before he starts idolizing Belle and that goofy walking candlestick.

So last week I started showing him the Star Wars collector buttons. First things first... SHOW HIM YODA... I WILL. David has now memorized Yoda and points to Yoda's button every morning after he wakes up... next up...Han Solo (I think I'll teach him about all the good guys first). Maybe in the next few weeks I'll sit him down and try to watch a movie with him... not that I think he'll be able to sit through it.... I just need a little relief from that DREADFUL Enchanted movie... Yes... I know... Enchanted is a good movie.... but I'm so sick of hearing that Happy Working Song for the 50th time... please pull it off your blog!

Anyway... I'm excited about this whole Star Wars thing with David... I just hope the whole Star Wars obsession doesn't spiral out of control to where he thinks he's a Stormtrooper by age four. So I'll watch him close and reign him in if I need to... but quite frankly... I'm more concerned about the day I have to tell him that George Lucas made 3 mediocre prequels... I'd rather just start him with episode 4 and never let him know that the Phantom Menace... and those other two flicks even existed.

Theory 55... The Kentucky Derby Theory

You’ve got to love the Kentucky Derby... I was flipping channels last Saturday afternoon and discovered the Kentucky Derby on NBC… of course it wasn’t actually the Kentucky Derby… it was the several-hours long fluff and hype preceding the famous horse race. Yet… I found myself fascinated… and I watched the whole thing play out. The race was actually quite dramatic this year. The favorite won... and the second place filly REALLY lost! At the end of the day… it was worth the all of the fluff and hype… in fact… every year I’ve watched the Kentucky Derby I’ve enjoyed it.

Some people might think it’s ridiculous to watch a program for 90 minutes just to catch a two-minute horse race… and they might be right. But I look at it a little differently… My theory is that if there’s a lot of FLUFF and HYPE… or an exceptionally LONG WAIT for something… more often than not… THERE’S A GOOD REASON WHY. The Derby was awesome… even my one-year-old son loved watching it! The Super bowl and American Idol are also marinated in fluff and hype… and they’re both pretty entertaining as well. I made it to a Jazz playoff game last weekend… it was also totally worth the hype! Sometimes I wonder if it’s a chicken-and-egg situation…. Does excessive HYPE and/or a LONG WAIT… actually make something better than it really is? Case-in-point… Café Rio….remember how tasty that pork burrito was after waiting in line for 30 minutes? Now days there’s rarely a long line at Café Rio… and I’m never hungry for the place any more.

Generally speaking the Kentucky Derby Theory is a bit like the old saying “YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR”… but there are exceptions…. Here are a couple: 1- CRYING KIDS… it doesn’t matter how much fluff, hype, or aggregage coolness an event has... once you add fussy kids into the equation… it’s rarely worth it (example: fireworks on the 4th of July). 2- DISNEY… two hour lines and six dollar hot-dogs never seem to live up to the hype… but then again… I’ve never been there with my own children.

Theory 54... The Princess Theory

Today my daughter Abby turns three years old. It’s amazing how fast the time has gone by since she was born… one thing’s for sure… I absolutely love her and can’t imagine life without her! Abby is a very outgoing little girl and it’s been fun over the last few months to talk with her as she is just starting to understand the world around her. I thought I would share a few Abby anecdotes (and some pictures) on her birthday…

Abby loves all the Disney princesses and everything about them. Each day she puts on one of her princess dresses and pretends to be Cinderella and each night she asks me to tell her the story of the day we went to see the Disney Princesses on Ice. Just yesterday we had an in-depth conversation about whether a princess drinks water or juice. I told her that princesses drink water… Abby told me… “No Daddy… all princesses drink juice!"


This morning after Abby opened her (princess) gifts… I was sitting with and telling her about the significance of her birthday. I showed her a framed picture we have of Abby as a little baby (see below) and explained to her that she was born in Washington DC… she gave me a confused look and then said…. “washing hands or washing feet?”

Abby is going through a “why” phase right now… she’ll ask “why” every time you tell her something new… it would be really annoying if it weren’t so cute. About a week ago I was reading my paper and Abby came over to me and asked to make cookies (Abby loves to help prepare food and cook). I decided I would have a little fun and play a game with Abby…. so I turned it around and started asking her “why” just to see what would happen. Here’s how the conversation went…

ABBY: Daddy… can I make cookies?
ME: Why?
ABBY: Cuz I want to.
ME: Why?
ABBY: Cuz they taste good.
ME: Why?
ABBY: Cuz they go down to my tummy and there yummy.
ME: Why?
ABBY: Cuz they’re good and then my tummy gets big and I have babies.

Hmmmm…

Theory 53... The Skiing and Stake Dance Theory

The downside of Spring is the end of ski season… virtually every resort in Utah (except Snowbird) has closed… and it’s an absolute shame! Solitude has long been my favorite resort… and it unceremoniously closed a few days ago with… get this… a mid-mountain base of 128 inches of snow! Seriously… there should be a law against a ski resort closing with 10ft of snow still on the ground! The best ski day I had this year was on the morning of April 3rd… the snow was perfect and the weather was fabulous… I completed 13 runs down the mountain in about 90 minutes and made it to work by noon… it was an unbelievable day! But now ski season has come to a premature end… unless I want to share the crowded Snowbird slopes with a bunch of punk snowboarders (which I don’t). So I’ll pack away my ski boots and wait for summer… Ski season ended WAY TOO SOON! Come to think of it… a lot of things in life end too soon… Here’s a small list (and some pictures)… I'll start from childhood:

A DAY AT LAGOON – As an 11-year-old Lagoon Day was like a holiday… and it competed with Christmas and my birthday as the best day of the year. I vividly remember begging my parents at 10:30pm to ride the Colossus roller coaster just one more time... Lagoon day always ended too soon!

STAKE DANCES – As a 15-year-old (see picture below) I thought Stake Dances were an absolute rip off… They always started at 8:00pm… but nobody showed up until 9:00… then you had to complete a modesty and worthiness interview before finally being chaperoned into the carpeted gymnasium. Finally around 10:30 things started to get rolling… then… just as I would get up the courage to ask that brunette girl with the sparkles in her hair to dance with me… the music would fade… someone would say a closing prayer… and the dance would end at 10:55pm.

LAKE POWELL – As a kid and as an adult... I've never spent too much time at Lake Powell. After typical 5-day-trip I always want to stay for another 5 days. Someday I’ll figure out how to spent a whole summer down at Glen Canyon… I don't know if it's possible to get tired of Southern Utah?

CHOCOLATE CAKE – The one dessert that never seems to have diminishing returns… the more you eat… the better it gets. Add a scope of vanilla ice cream… and you have a dessert that you'll always want more of. I prefer my wife’s chocolate bundt cake or the triple layer variety from Magelby’s... certainly the best food available in Utah Valley.

A GOOD COMEDY - Think Seinfeld or The Office (before Jim and Pam hooked up). When you’re laughing out loud during a good sitcom… it will always end one minute later.